Cary B. Harr

Cary Brett Harr was born March 3, 1970 to Robert Harr Sr. (1944-2023) and Patricia Harr in Harrisburg, PA. He spent his childhood in the backwoods of Pennsylvania—and wouldn’t let anyone forget it. His siblings would give him a hard time about all the crazy projects he was always working on... he hated to explain his ideas to anyone before he was done. “You’ll see...” he would always say. His love for tinkering, inventing and creating followed him throughout his life and truly made him the once-in-a-lifetime person he was.

Cary wrestled for Central Dauphin High School and when he graduated in 1988, he continued his wrestling career at Lock Haven University while pursuing a degree in Health and Physical Education. In 1992, he spent a long summer in Australia teaching at an all-boys private school. After he graduated, he headed east to New Jersey for a teaching and coaching position at Southern Regional High School. Cary claims he single handedly brought both Pickleball and Yuengling to the Garden State. In 1997, he led the Southern Regional wrestling team to their first ever Shore Conference victory and South Jersey Group IV Championship as assistant coach.

Cary’s lifelong love of learning continued when he earned his Masters in Instructional Technology from Stockton University, then went on to become an adjunct professor at Monmouth University and Stockton University. As a professor, he created “Jeeparty”: a first-of-its-kind computer quiz game to help his students study for exams. He moved on to work at Booz Allen Hamilton as a Lead Project Manager, but still maintains his five-star rating on ‘Rate My Professor’ to this day. He worked at Booz Allen for eight years and when he left, his entire team followed him to Deloitte to continue working with him for another eight years.

On New Years Eve of 1994, Cary married and seven months later he welcomed his oldest daughter, Abigail Elizabeth. He couldn’t believe how tiny she was and thought they were crazy for letting the couple walk out of the hospital to go home to their tiny blue house on Village Drive. Cary made ends meet in the summer by driving around in his blue Ford pickup truck building decks, some still standing strong 30 years later. In 1996 the couple welcomed their second daughter, Madeline Susan. From then on, he always had Maddy and Abby in tow, showing up to cheer him on at all the wrestling tournaments he coached.

Cary moved his family to their dream home in 2003: the 7-acre Cloverdale farm in Barnegat, New Jersey. He built a tire swing that swung so high from the biggest oak tree in the middle of the yard, a massive garden that his daughters would go out in bare feet and pick vegetables from every dewy summer morning to sell at the farm stand and a treehouse that towered 2-stories tall, fully equipped with a water balloon sling shot. Every summer, they held a massive barn party where The Pickles played, not ending until the surrounding retirement communities called the cops to complain about the noise.

The light of his life arrived in 2006 with the birth of his third daughter, Nora Lisa, who melted his heart and softened his stubborn spirit like no one else ever could. The two would spend all their time together at the arcade in Seaside Heights racking up hundreds of thousands of tickets and never spending them on prizes. Once they finally collected 10 sets of every Wizard of Oz card, they retired to the couch, Cary forcing Nora to watch all of his favorite 80’s movies and then teasing her for never liking them.

He had a hatred of airline travel but a love for the American South. He road tripped down to New Orleans in his truck almost every year and fell in love with Savannah, Georgia along the way. As much as he complained about all the little inconveniences of travel, he loved meeting people from all walks of life at dive bars that anyone else would be intimidated to walk into. He was most in his element while playing bar trivia on a tablet and a draught Miller Lite in his hand. For his 50th birthday, his friends took him to cross the Panama Canal by boat, where he was serenaded by a group of French tourists who sang him happy birthday on the train. He was so full of surprises; even his friends of 20 plus years, and he had many, were routinely surprised by Cary’s huge heart, his dark humor, how he knew something about everything and just how much love he had for his three daughters.

His most recent adventures included learning how to weld, making hot pepper and fig jams, a reignited love for gardening with rare seeds, being awarded a patent for his latest immersive AR project, kayaking on the Barnegat Bay, walking on the Rail Trail, and never having yard sale.

On September 14, 2025, Cary took his last breath in Pennsylvania, just the way he would have wanted. He was surrounded by friends who love and care about him like a brother after a weekend of live music and camping. He is survived by the legacy of his infectious signature laugh and his three daughters: Abigail (30), Madeline (28), and the baby of the family, Nora (19). He is also survived by his mother, Patricia Harr, and his 6 siblings; Robert Harr Jr., Billie Wagner (William), Sherry Harr, Jamie Harr (Denise), Jody Stine (Craig), and Chris Harr (Julie). He was preceded in death by his father Robert F. Harr Sr. and his infant sister, Deborah Kay Harr.

A celebration of life will be held on October 4th at Cloverdale County Park in Barnegat, New Jersey at 12 p.m. We encourage everyone to bring their own chairs and their best stories about Cary.

Cary was loved and admired dearly by all of his incredible friends, his wonderful family and most of all his three daughters. He will live on in our hearts forever.